


Seas of Blue

by IvyYara



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Friendship, Intimacy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-09-27 11:24:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17161115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyYara/pseuds/IvyYara
Summary: John struggles with his feelings. The actions of his friend make things more complicated for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is something that just popped up in my head. At first it was just a one shot, but then more came up. I have no indication on how long this is going to be, as long as my inspiration will take me. I'll try to update regularly. Please note that English is not my first language, so mistakes might pop up somewhere. I hope you enjoy. In my mind this takes place around 1979/1980.

**Chapter One**

He never did like big crowds, standing there near the bar in a dark corner in god knows what club his friends picked out this time. He didn’t even know where his friends were. He wasn’t that tall, so he couldn’t quite see over the crowd to spot them in the sea of people. So, he did his best to blend in with the music blasting in his ears and the different coloured lights shining in his eyes.

You would think that rock stars would thrive in places like these, with people dancing, drinking and doing whatever else you were supposed to be doing in these kinds of establishments. But John was uncomfortable to say the least. He still had trouble thinking of himself as a rock star. Why he went with his friends, he didn’t even remember, and that wasn’t because he had one to many drinks.

Deep in his heart he knew why he went, he just wasn’t ready to admit that too himself and definitely not to anyone else. So, there he was, sipping on yet another vodka tonic, slightly more vodka than tonic, still watching the crowd not particularly looking at anything or anyone.

Deep in thought he didn’t even notice the two young women that stood a few feet away from him. They were enthusiastically whispering to each other, giggling and pointing at him. John picked the spot at the bar so he wouldn’t stand out, he hated standing out, which is weird if you think about it, being a somewhat famous bass player.

Still wondering where his friends were, he didn’t notice one of the girls trying to get his attention. “Excuse me?” John snapped out of his train of thought and saw the girl smiling a soft smile at him. She was pretty, anyone could see that, even in the dark corner he was standing in. Hazel eyes, brown wavy curls that came down to just over her shoulders and wearing a little black dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination.

She seemed nervous to talk to him, but also didn’t want to miss the opportunity. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but aren’t you John Deacon? The bass player from Queen?” She asked shyly, already knowing the answer to her question.

John smiled awkwardly and nodded “Yes, eh that would be me.”

She was practically bouncing “Wow, I can’t believe you are here! Are you alone?” She quickly glanced around to see if she missed anything. “Or is the rest also here?” With the rest she obviously meant the rest of Queen.

“Oh, yes the rest of the band is also here.” He explained, “If only I knew where they were” he added under his breath. The place wasn’t even that big.

The girl and her friend just stared at him expectantly, he was getting uncomfortable being the centre of their attention. He didn’t know what to do or say in such situations, when his more social bandmates weren’t there. He was never good in social situations and definitely not with girls.

So, he asked the first thing that came to mind. “Ehm… did you want an autograph?” he asked, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

She smiled at him and batted her eyelashes, “Yes thank you, that would be great,” she said touching his upper arm. “Maybe I could thank you properly for it.” She added with a flirty smile.

John didn’t know how to respond; the girl was really forward. It wasn’t that he wasn’t flattered. But he knew she was just another star struck girl, that wouldn’t think twice about him if he wasn’t in Queen. Wondering about how he was going to get out of this awkward situation, he didn’t see the person coming up to him from behind. He jumped slightly when he felt arm around his shoulder.

“Well well Deaky! Aren’t you quite the ladies’ man?” A husky voice shouted playfully.

John knew right away that the voice belonged to Roger and looked next to him to find out the arm indeed belonged to his blonde-haired friend and bandmate.

Roger smiled at him, he obviously had way too much to drink tonight. He was glad he came to save him though.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends John?” he asked, winking at the girls. They giggled.

John rolled his eyes, “I don’t know their names. They just wanted autographs.”

The two girls had already forgot about him and were now all over Roger. So much for thanking me properly John thought. Not that he was complaining, happy to not have to deal with the stress. Roger had that effect on most women. John couldn’t say he was very jealous.

“So, girls, was John nice to you?” Roger was leaning on the bar, trying to steady himself. Too drunk to keep himself up. John snickered at the sight. Roger didn’t notice.

The brunette threw her hair back and smiled at Roger. John knew she didn’t need to try so hard. “Yes, he was very nice.” She told him. John didn’t understand, they hardly had a conversation.

“I was just asking him if he we could join you, if you guys decide to leave the club?” She was looking expectantly at Roger and then at John.

Even though Roger was too drunk to function normally, he did look at John to try and find out what he wanted to do about this situation. Knowing Roger, he would have liked to take these girls to the hotel. John just shrugged and left it up to him. Hoping Roger would for once not think with his dick. Not that he was going to perform with the amount of alcohol he consumed, john thought to himself.

For some reason Roger picked up on John’s mood. “Any other day of the week I would be happy to bring you along, but we have a plane to catch after we leave here.” Roger lied, still smiling his brightest smile at the girls.

The girls looked disappointed, John almost felt sorry for them. But he wanted to get out of here soon. “aww that’s too bad. We would have made it worth your while” she winked at them.

“I’m sure you would have,” Roger said with a smile. “For tonight this’ll have to do.” Pecking both girls on the lips. John wasn’t even surprised, just typical Roger he thought. The girls were both blushing and giving Roger a hug. Now turning to him looking at him with hopeful eyes.

John felt panic creep up on him when the brunette came closer to him. He took a step back “Ehm, I have a cold,” he lied, quickly putting his hands up as an apology.

The girls looked disappointed but seemed to take the hint. “Well girls have a good night then” Roger said, “I’ll be taking our friendly bass player with me.” And with that he put his arm around John’s shoulder again and led him away from the girls. John shivered at his touch.

“I totally got you out of that one,” Roger smirked at him, hardly being able to stand on his own two feet.

John snorted, even though he knew Roger was right, but didn’t want to lose face. “I was doing fine thank you very much.”

Roger laughed “Deaky, I don’t understand why you went with us, you are obviously not having any fun.”

John smiled, “it’s okay, it’s better than staying at the hotel alone.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you are here,” Roger swayed on his feet, still having trouble keeping his balance due to the alcohol. His arm around his shoulder leaving John even more hot in the already scorching club. “But you don’t need to do it for us, even though I’m great company,” Roger looked at him with a smirk.

John looked at Roger, his face was slightly red, and his blonde hair was sticking to his forehead because he was sweating because of the heat in this place. But still his blue eyes were just as bright as always. It was easy to get lost in the seas of blue.

Roger went to sit at a nearby couch in the VIP section. John went to sit next to him and lit a cigarette.  

“Oh yes, you are the best,” John joked slightly sarcastic, blowing out a puff of smoke. “leaving your friend alone for half the night.”

Roger pouted “How can I make it up to you?”

John understood why Roger was so good with girls, he smiled “I will think of something.”

“I’m scared already,” Roger said with a wink and leaned back putting his hands behind his head. “You know I would have taken those girls with me if I wasn’t so fucking drunk, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, I know Rog,” John said, putting out his cigarette. “I sleep in the room next to you.”  

Roger snickered “hotel room walls aren’t that thick mate, maybe try ear plugs?”

“Thanks for the tip,” John said sarcastically but smiling anyway.

“Free of charge,” Roger tried to stand up but failing miserably. John stood up to help him “I think you had enough for tonight, let’s get you back to the hotel.” He put his arm around Rogers waist and placed Rogers arm around his shoulder.

Roger didn’t protest “What about Fred and Brian?” he asked.

“They will be fine,” John simply stated, knowing he was right, Brian would get Freddie to the hotel safely.

Roger seemed okay with that answer and let John lead him to the exit. He struggled to get Roger to the door because he had put all his weight on him, but eventually got there and shivered at the cold air that washed over him when they got outside. He found their car and driver for the night rather quickly.

He helped Roger into the backseat and went to sit next to him. He reached over to get his seatbelt and despite the smell of alcohol he could still smell his cologne. When he fastened the seatbelt and put on his own, he felt Rogers head leaning on his shoulder, eyes closed.

“Thanks, Deaky,” Roger breathed, “wouldn’t know what I’d do without you,” and drifted to sleep.

John sighed and looked at the sleeping man next to him, brushing a lock of blond hair out of his face, remembering exactly why he went to the club in the first place.       


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets Roger back to the hotel, which turns out to be harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter two. I hope you enjoy. Hoping it makes sense to you guys. Im bad at writing notes ;3

**Chapter Two**

 

Roger woke up with the biggest headache he had in a very long time. When he opened his eyes, he had a hard time adjusting to the bright light that came through the hotel room window. The curtains were still open, he obviously was too drunk to close them last night he thought. He didn’t even remember how he got to his bed in the first place. His drunken state must have been really bad if he didn’t pick up any girls, checking next to him to see that he was in the bed alone.

Laying there for a minute, he decided to get up, because staying in the bed alone was pointless and he needed something to get rid of this horrible throbbing in his head. He got up and found his bathrobe, put it on and walked straight to the bar to find some tea or coffee, of course there wasn’t any. When he turned around to find the phone to call room service, he saw a sleeping figure on the couch. He didn’t notice before because he was still somewhat disoriented. He must have been really drunk he thought.

When he came closer, he saw the person in question was his friend and band mate John. He didn’t look all that comfortable on the leather hotel couch. John murmured something under his breath, which he couldn’t really hear. John had one arm up above his head and the other was laying on his chest. The position made his formfitting shirt creep up enough to show some pale skin above the waistline of his jeans. Roger found himself staring at it, wondering how it would feel to touch the skin.

When John stirred in his sleep, Roger tore his gaze away to look at his face. He saw the younger man slowly waking up and blinking his eyes a few times before focussing his greyish green eyes on Rogers blue ones. Roger smiled “good morning, you know you have a perfectly good bed in the next room, seems much more comfortable.”

John groaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. His back aching “I’m perfectly aware of that, but I fell asleep on the coach after getting you to your bed safely, since you were so drunk you couldn’t even walk a straight line.”

“That bad huh?” Roger asks, “I don’t remember anything from last night, just that we were leaving the club at one point.”

John looked at him with tired eyes, “Yes I can understand why, you were absolutely shitfaced.” He chuckled.

Roger walked to the phone, “Well why don’t you tell me what happened while I’ll call room service and get us some breakfast.”

John stretched, he had been really uncomfortable on that horrible couch, he thought about last night. Why on earth didn’t I go to my own room he thought. Even though he had too much to drink to, he was still aware of his actions. He could have just gotten to his room when Roger fell asleep. He knew why though.  

“Well, tell me about it, what did I do?” Roger went to sit next to him and looked at him expectantly

John rubbed the back of his neck and yawned, “You sure you want to know?” he grinned at Roger.

“Yes! Now tell me”.

 

_When the car pulled over in front of their hotel, Roger was still asleep with his head on John’s shoulder. John slightly stirred him to try and wake him up. It had been a short ride from the club. John wished it could have taken longer, he had been looking at the Roger the entire time, sleeping peacefully._

_“Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up, we are at the hotel.” He whispered._

_Roger slowly awoke and looked at him with dreamy eyes, “What is it?” he slurred._

_“Come on, let’s get to the room, you can get to bed and sleep it off,” John said._

_Roger looked at him and smirked a bit “aren’t you romantic?”_

_John chuckled to himself, he forgot how flirty Roger got when he was drunk. He got out of the car and Roger was still sitting there not moving a muscle, not that he could with all the alcohol in his body. He went to open the car door and leaned over Roger to get his seatbelt off._

_Roger pressed his face in John’s neck “You smell good Deaky”, John froze when he felt Roger’s hot breath on his skin. “Why do you smell so good?” He shivered, not knowing how to respond._

_John tugged on one of Rogers arm and got him out of the car with a lot of effort. God, he didn’t think Roger could get anymore drunk. And he had seen him drunk a lot, this took the cake. He dragged him up the hotel steps and past the security to make it to the elevator to get to the top floor._

_The elevator ride seemed to take forever. The elevators had mirrors all around, it made John kind of dizzy. He tried to focus on one point to not get sick. Roger was intently looking at his own reflection. “You know I could be a model,” and he struck some sort of pose still looking at his himself. John snickered, where was his camera when he needed it. Roger was probably right though. The elevator indicated that they were at their floor. “Yes Rog, you could be a model, but later, now you need sleep”. He guided Roger out of the elevator and to his room._

_When they were standing in front of his room Roger didn’t make a move to open his door. “Do you have your key?” John asked. Roger looked at him with drunk eyes as if he spoke Chinese._

_John rolled his eyes “your key Rog, you know, that thing you open the door with.”_

_“Ah yeah, I still had it when I left tonight,” he grinned._

_“Obviously,” John stated, losing his patience. “What about in your pockets?”_

_Roger felt down his body, patting the pockets on his jacket and pants, and finally found the key in the back pocket of his black jeans._ _“There it is.” He struggled to slide the card through the magnetic lock, but after trying 3 times he finally got it and practically fell through the door._

_John tried to hold him up, but not very successfully. Roger leaned against the wall, trying to move his feet. “So where is the bedroom again?”  he asked._

_John pushed him in the right direction. “This way, now let’s get you to bed.”_

_When they got to the bed, Roger dropped himself face first on the king-sized bed. John groaned, how was he going to get him out of his clothes. He was impossible. He tugged on his arm and tried to turn him around and up to a sitting position. Roger somewhat complied._

_“Ugh, I wanna sleep,” he complained._

_John was exhausted himself but couldn't just leave him there “you can in a minute, just let’s get these clothes off you first, okay”._

_“I will, if you will,” Roger said with a chuckle and touched the tip of John’s nose._

_“Work with me here Rog” John said impatiently_

_He went to stand in front of roger and started taking off his leather jacket and Roger cooperated. John never expected to have to strip his friend of his clothes. He then proceeded to open the buttons of his shirt and taking the shirt off._

_Roger was slightly tanned, still a bit of summer colour lingering there. John felt a blush creeping up on him and tried to think of anything else but the man in front of him. When he kneeled down to get off his shoes, he felt Rogers hands going through his hair. “Your hair is soft,” Roger spoke with a slightly huskier voice then normal. This definitely was not helping!_

_He went to stand up again and Roger let himself fall back on the bed, still wearing his jeans. “Ehm Rog, can you get off those pants by yourself,” not wanting to make Roger uncomfortable. Roger didn’t seem to care, he started fumbling with the button and zipper, but eventually got it and wiggled to get out of the tight pants and kicked it off completely landing somewhere near the bed. He was now only in his boxers and let his head rest at one of the pillows._

_John got the blankets that were laying at the back of the bed and put them over his friend._

_“Okay, I’ll be going to my room now,” he said sleepily. He turned around and was about to walk away when he felt Roger grab him by the wrist._

_“Wait” John turned around to look at Roger. “Stay with me” Roger said sleepily, John didn’t think he heard right._

_“What?”_

_Roger hesitated, “you can sleep here with me,” and patted the spot next to him on the bed. Roger’s expression was different from before, and John couldn’t quite understand what it meant. Roger was probably too drunk to realize what he was saying. So, John tried to play it off as joke._

_“I think you are mistaking me with one of your groupies Rog, I will see you tomorrow okay, sleep well.” John said._

_Roger let go of his wrist and was already snoring before John could reach the door to the living area. John took one last look at him and sighed and closed the door. He went to sit at the couch and rubbed his face. He groaned to himself, there was a pack of smokes on the table. He could really use one, so he took one and lit it, thinking about what had just happened._

_The look on Roger’s face was something he hadn’t seen before. John had been trying to fight it the last couple of months and didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he had been starting to develop feelings for the drummer. John was openly bisexual; his friends knew this. But they did not know about his little crush on their blonde friend, and he liked to keep it that way. He wasn’t planning on acting on it and hoped it would go away. But Roger had been a little flirty all night and it took all of his willpower to not act on it. He didn’t because Roger was drunk and wasn’t into guys, but the look on his face just now was different._

_He sighed again and looked at the door where his friend was now peacefully sleeping. He pressed out his cigarette and leaned back on the couch, still replaying tonight’s events. While thinking about it he dozed off and woke up with two blue eyes looking at him with a big smile on his face._

 

John finished his story about last night, not telling his friend about the last part. “So yeah you were on a roll,” he chuckled.

Roger groaned, “I’m so sorry John, for being such a child, I didn’t realize I was that drunk.” He took a sip of his coffee and made a face. During John’s story room service was brought to Rogers room. “God, I hate coffee”. John laughed at the face his friend made and took a bite off his toast.

“I will make it up to you somehow,” he said with apologetic look on his face.

John smirked, “Like I said last night, I will think of something.”

John finished his toast and tea and stood up. “Well I’m going to take a shower and get sorted. Remember, we leave in like an hour.” He walked past Roger and gave him a little pat on the shoulder. “See you downstairs.”

Before John could take his hand away Roger laid his hand over John’s and looked at him with a smile and soft eyes. John’s heart skipped a beat. “Thank you, John, for everything.”

John returned the smile, “don’t mention it, that’s what friends are for.”

When he got to the hallway, he rested his back against Roger’s door, he let out a big sigh. This was getting more complicated than he had anticipated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John had promised himself not to do anything with his feelings, and hoped in time they would fade away. Can he keep his promise? Someone is making it quite difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next chapter. I really hope you will enjoy it. Thanks for everyone that left comments and kudos! <3 It really made me happy. I've been nervous about posting this chapter, so I hope its good ;3

Chapter 3

 

It had been two weeks since the hotel room events and John had thought that the events of that night would have been a one-time thing, that he could get back to his somewhat normal life in the band and sort out his feelings for Roger on his own time. They were in the process of writing and recording new material, so they would have to spend a lot of time with each other. His feelings couldn’t be getting in the way of making the new album. They had two weeks off before they were going to start recording.   

He had convinced himself that Rogers flirty behaviour that night was because of the amount alcohol he had consumed and that it had nothing to do with him. Roger however seemed to have slightly different ideas about that. It had started in the plane on the way back home, observant as he was, he had felt Roger’s gaze lingering on him more than a few times, and it made it him awkwardly aware of the effect the other man had on him.

When the four of them played a few games of scrabble Roger was sitting impossibly close to him with their legs touching. He was growing hotter by the minute and had already gotten rid of his jacket. He hoped it wouldn’t be too noticeable, but he couldn’t focus on the game and was losing horribly. “Not your best try John, dear.” Freddie said teasingly. “Something on your mind?”

John shifted in his seat, so that he could get away from Roger’s leg touching his. “No, nothing in particular, just didn’t sleep that well last night.” Roger looked at him with an apologetic look but not saying anything. John excused himself and got up to go the bathroom. Feeling Roger’s eyes on him while he walked away. Brian and Freddie were to focussed on their game to notice.

When he locked the door behind him, he turned around to look at his own reflection in the mirror. He did look a little worse for wear. On his face was a slight blush noticeable and his short brown hair was wilder then normal. Steadying himself with both arms on the sink he took a big breath. Was he just imagining things or was Roger paying a lot of attention to him, or maybe that was his mind telling him what he wanted? He couldn’t shake those blue eyes out his head. He had been sitting so close, it took everything of his self-control to not touch him. John opened the cold-water faucet and splashed his face to cool himself down. It didn’t help.

There was a knock on the door which startled him, a voice called him “John? Are you okay?” It was Roger, of course it was, who else? He looked at his own reflection again, a sad looking man looked back at him. How would he get over this? “John?” Roger said again sounding a bit more worried now.

He took a deep breath and opened the door to meet the blue eyes he’d been thinking about. “I’m fine,” he smiled at Roger. God he was perfect.

Roger tilted his head slightly, he didn’t seem convinced. “Are you sure?” he touched his upper arm. “You can tell me if something is wrong.” His hand felt hot on his skin.

They were really close in the narrow hallway that connected the front of the plane to the seating area. John was almost pressed against the wall, he could feel Roger’s breath on his face, which made him shudder involuntarily. Roger looked at him again with that same expression from the night before, which John couldn’t quite understand. He wanted to know what the man in front of him was thinking about.

He looked at him, “thank you, I know I can, but nothing is wrong,” he lied. “I just need a good night’s sleep.”

With that Roger didn’t press it any further, “Okay, well we are almost landing so I was coming to get you.”

They went back to their seats. Brian and Freddie were done playing their game. Brian was reading a book and Freddie was writing something, probably a new song. Brian looked up from his book, “You okay John? You were in there a long time.”

Freddie laughed, “Brian darling, leave the man alone, he was probably just sorting himself out,” and gave John a wink.

Even though John knew he wasn’t doing anything of the sort, he still blushed and looked down at his feet. Because of that he missed the look Roger gave him. He tried to protest, “Fred that’s not…. I wasn’t…. I.” Before he could finish his sentence the captain was speaking.

“Good evening, this is your captain speaking, we are nearing our destination and will be landing in twenty minutes. I hope you had a good flight.” “Cabin crew be seated for landing”.

John just left it at that, knowing he wouldn’t win that fight. With that they got back to their seats and within half an hour they were safely landed. John couldn’t wait to get to his bed and sleep.

 

After the two weeks off, they had started in the studio again. It was safe to say that those two weeks off didn’t help John in any way to shake the feelings he had for Roger. If anything, they seemed to have been growing stronger. The short period that followed after the tour gave John more time to think, which wasn’t good for his sanity and made him think about him even more.

The fact that Roger had been acting somewhat differently around him with the looks he gave him, being touchy and flirty. It somehow gave him the slightest bit of hope. Yet he decided he would not give in to the temptation. He could be completely wrong about this whole situation just because he wanted it so badly and make a complete fool out of himself.  

On the morning of the first day back in the studio John woke up early after having yet another dream about Roger. He groaned and turned his face into his pillow in frustration. This was getting ridiculous, how on earth was he going to get this man out of his mind. He never had crushes this bad. He sighed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

He went to take a shower and wondered how he was going to face Roger and still keep acting normal. He was usually pretty good at keeping a straight face but wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up. He quickly got dressed and fixed his hair and went in the kitchen to get some breakfast. When he finished, he brushed his teeth. He didn’t even bother cleaning up the table, thinking he would do it tonight when he got back. He grabbed his jacket and closed the door behind him.

When he got to the studio, he was obviously the first to arrive. It was only 7:15, not even Brian was going to be that early after two weeks off. He switched on the lights and hung up his jacket, he missed recording and playing together with his band mates, even if it only had been two weeks. He went to get his bass and plugged it in the amplifier, he then started to play a riff he had been practising at home as well. He was just focussing on playing and in deep concentration that he didn’t notice someone entering the room.

“That’s a great riff,”

“God!” John gasped and turned around, but already knew who the voice belonged to. Roger was leaning on the back off the couch where John was sitting, chin resting on his folded arms, intently listening to John playing.

John’s heart was beating unnaturally fast. One because Roger had just scared the shit out of him and two because he didn’t expect him to be so early and be alone with him so soon.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”, Roger said with an apologetic smile.

John felt himself start to blush, he inwardly cursed himself. “it’s okay, I wasn’t expecting you yet is all,” he returned the smile.

“Hey, I’ll have you know, I can be punctual when I want to be,” he smirked.

John snickered, “didn’t think you knew what that word meant.” Why did he have to pick today to be punctual? He thought to himself.

Roger dramatically put his hand up to his chest, “ouch, that hurt Deaky.” He walked around the coach and sat next to John, and laid his hand on his thigh “So, are you gonna tell me why you are here this early?”

John looked at Rogers hand resting on his leg. He had trouble forming words. “Ehm… I, ehm… no reason really, I woke up early,” he looked up at Roger who gave him a sweet smile. God why did he have to be so beautiful.

“Hmm, you seem to have trouble sleeping a lot lately, he stated. John looked at him wondering what he was getting at. Roger saw his questioning eyes and explained “you know, in the hotel, two weeks ago.”

John laughed, “Yeah, well that was because of your drunk self, remember.”

While they were talking Roger’s hand was still on his thigh, his index finger making little circles. He shuddered under his touch, it was making it hard for him to concentrate on what he was saying or form any coherent sentences, but he didn’t make him move his hand.

Roger looked at him again with that same expression from that night, soft eyes and sweet smile. He shrugged “Hey, I did offer you to sleep in my bed with me.” He then patted John’s leg and got up.

John’s mouth goes dry when he registered what Roger just said, “wait, what…, you said you didn’t remember anything of that night.”

Roger smiled at him “that’s pretty much the only thing I remember though, waiting a minute before teasingly adding “and it hurt you know, that you didn’t want to stay.”

John rolled his eyes at him, wondering if Roger meant what he said. He had been touchy again and somewhat suggestive, it made his brain work overtime. He didn’t know what to do about the situation anymore. Was he all just imagining this, or was Roger giving him signs?

Roger was still looking at him, now with a twinkle in his eyes. “about your sleeping problems though,” John looked up at him. “huh?”

“Maybe you just need a good shag?” he smirked waiting for John’s reaction.

John felt his face heat up. It had been while, but he wasn’t going to admit that to you his friend. “I don’t have sleeping problems, but I will keep that in mind if I ever do.”

“If you say so,” Roger grinned putting his hands up, slowly walking backwards to the next room where his drumkit was standing, “just here to help.”

“Yes, very helpful," John said sarcastically. He took his bass again and started playing his riff again. Trying to calm himself down.

He had been playing for about five minutes when Brian and Freddie both entered the room. “Good morning darlings! You boys are early, especially you Rog," he shouted playfully to the next room where Roger was sitting.

Roger looked irritated “hey, why is everyone so surprised?” throwing up his arms.

Brian grinned, “Being on time was never your top priority.”

Roger just shrugged, “whatever.”

John was still playing his riff, adding new stuff to it as he went along. “That’s a good riff you are playing there John.” Brian said looking at him with a smile “sounds like it could be something good.”

Freddie was intrigued now as well, “you have any lyrics yet darling?”

“I’m working on it, maybe you can help me out?” happy he could be focussing on something else other than Roger’s teasing.

“Naturally,” Freddie said smiling. “Let’s get to it.” Leaving to the next room, Brian following him.  

John was about to follow them when he noticed Roger standing in the doorway of the room he had been in, leaning against the doorpost. He had a serious look on his face. 

“John?”

John stopped in his tracks and looked at him. “Hmm?”

Roger took a deep breath, as if he was contemplating if he should say what he was about to say. “Can we talk? Just you and me?”

John got a weird feeling in his stomach. He hadn’t seen Roger so serious about wanting to talk before. “Yeah, sure, right now?”

“No, later today? Is that okay?” Roger asked hesitantly.

“Yeah that’s fine.” He said wondering what this was about.

“Thanks,” he took John’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

Roger then proceeded to walk to the next room where they could hear Freddie and Brian bickering about something. John looked at his retreating back, wondering what was going on inside his head. Hoping today would go fast, so that they could talk about whatever he wanted to talk about. He decided to put it out of his mind and get to working.

 

After what seemed like forever, they were finally taking a break. John was exhausted, they had been working nonstop, but the song was coming along nicely. He stretched his arms above his head. It was now half past 5, and he was in desperate need of a smoke. He went downstairs and outside to the back of the recording studio. He didn’t bother to bring a jacket, it hadn’t been that cold yet, for early October. When he got outside, the sun was slowly setting. He leaned his back against the wall and lit up a cigarette, looking at the few people he saw walking across the street. It was a relatively quiet place.

He heard the door opening but didn’t bother to look who it was. He knew it was Roger, he had signalled him he was going outside when he walked past him. Making sure Fred and Brian didn’t notice. Roger leaned against the wall next to him. He seemed nervous.

“Penny for your thoughts?”     

John looked at him with a soft expression, “I was wondering why you wanted to talk to me, you sounded serious, is something wrong?”

He patted his pockets, “ugh, I forgot my smokes,” John held one up for him, he took it and and let John lit it.

He took a big heave and blew out a puff of smoke. John waited for him to answer, getting slightly nervous now.

“No not really,” he started, kicking a pebble away “I wanted to ask you something, but you might think it’s weird, and I don’t want to offend you.”

“Try me.” John was intrigued.

He took a breath, “Okay,” he didn’t dare to look at John, “So how did you know you were, ehm…” he paused “well, you know…”

He looked at him, "no, I don't know, last time I checked I wasn't very good at reading minds." John said teasingly. 

"haha, funny". He sighed a small smile noticeable, “god, okay... how did you know you were also into men?” he eventually spit out. 

John tilted his head. He obviously didn’t expect that question, wondering where it came from. He didn’t want to make the other man more uncomfortable, so he tried to sound not surprised. “Oh… I don’t really know Rog, I guess I just noticed at one point that I was attracted to men as well, you know” putting out his cigarette. “I don’t think there is much more to it, at least not for me.”  

“Why you ask though?” he asked, not able to contain his curiosity any longer.

John could practically feel the tension in Roger’s body. He was still leaning against the wall and threw away his smoked cigarette, he sighed “well, because I think I have feelings for a man.” He hesitantly looked at John.

John blinked a couple of times, to register what his friend just told him. Roger started blushing and looked at his feet “I knew you thought it was weird, and he started to walk away.”

John was quick to act “No! Rog wait,” and he grabbed his wrist and turned him around, he looked in his blue eyes that stared at him sadly, as if he was trying to make sense of what he was feeling. He knew that feeling perfectly well, and it was hard enough not being able to share it with anyone. It was like that for him at first, so he wanted to let Roger know he wasn’t alone in this.

“Why on earth would I think it’s weird, it’s me you are talking to.” He laid his hands on his upper arms and gave them a gentle squeeze.

Roger was still intently looking at his feet, carefully choosing his next words.

“Because…. he now looked him straight in the eyes, still hesitant. “You are the one I have feelings for.”

John stared at him with wide eyes, he didn’t think he heard right. He was waiting for his alarm to go off, to wake him up again to bring him back to reality. But that didn’t happen. He opened his mouth and closed it again, seemingly to have lost all ability to speak. When he opened his mouth again to at least say something, he was cut off by Roger, who seemed to be panicking because he started talking much quicker than he usually did, averting his eyes and a blush on his face.  

“I know this might be a surprise to you, but I just can’t help it. I just have been thinking about you a lot and it’s all very confusing. And I understand if you don’t have the same feelings for me, that’s fine.”  

John’s mind was racing, the man he had been thinking about for the last few months told him he has feelings for him. His heart was beating quickly, he moved his hand to the crook of Rogers neck and gently caressed the skin with his thumb. Roger seemed to be hardly aware of it, he was still explaining himself. “I just want you to know that nothing will change between us, I mean…”

“Rog.” He said quietly, trying to get his attention. Roger stopped talking. John’s eyes flickered to Roger’s mouth and back to his eyes to find blue eyes looking at him with… was it want? He wasn’t sure but he acted anyway, feeling all his uncertainties slipping away. He softly leaned in and heared Roger’s breath hitch, it seemed to take forever but then their lips touched and he felt Roger leaning in to the kiss with a soft sigh. At first it's slow and sweet, he moved closer to him and gently pushed him against the wall behind him, Roger’s body flush against his.

One of Rogers hands gripped the back of his neck and the other rested on his waist. John moved his other hand to the side of Roger’s face, deepening the kiss and slightly opens his mouth, Roger gasped against his and doing the same. John groaned slightly as the kiss grew more heated, they only broke apart the need for air, both panting quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Roger try to get on from where they left off, that doesn't seem to be that easy though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter 4. It took me a bit longer this time because of the new year. I hope you will all enjoy. Thanks a lot again to everyone that left comments and kudos, means a lot to me <3 I also wish everyone a happy new year! I did a little POV shift in the middle, because I thought it would fit the story. Enjoy!

**Chapter Four**

 

 

They didn’t speak for the first few seconds. John’s mind was trying to keep up with what had just happened. He couldn’t believe what he just did, he kissed Roger and not to mention Roger kissed him back. With that realisation all his uncertainties came crashing down on him again. _Should he have done this? What would happen to their friendship? Was Roger just curious and was this just a one-time thing for him? God, he hoped not!_

Roger was the first one to speak and wake him up out of his train of thoughts.

“Well, that was a surprise,” he still sounded slightly out of breath.

“I’d say so,” John said trying to catch his breath himself. He didn’t dare to look at Roger, scared of what he would do or say. He hesitated before speaking, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “was that okay though?” Even though Roger didn’t seem to object just a few seconds ago.

Roger tilted his head and looked at John with a soft smile. “Hey,” John looked up at him with hesitant eyes. He then took a fistful of John’s shirt and pulled him gently against him, putting his face in his neck slowly ghosting love nips there until his lips were just below his ear. John shuddered, feeling Roger’s hot breath tickling his ear. He then whispered, “I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind it happening again.”

John couldn’t help but smile, feeling his heart skip a beat. He looked at Roger and was about to lean in again when he heard the door opening. Both him and Roger quickly let go of each other as if they had burned themselves. They both seemed to agree, that whatever the hell this was, they wanted to keep it to themselves, at least for now. Whoever it was, they had bloody awful timing John thought.

“There you are!”

It was Freddie, he was looking at them impatiently with one hand on his hip, “you know break has been over for a while now boys, so get your behinds back upstairs, we have a song to finish, what are you even doing out here?”

John tried to act as normal as possible, that being very difficult knowing what they had just been doing, “Just having a smoke,” he said.

Roger however wasn’t doing a very good job of being subtle, not his usual confident self. He was nervously fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket and trying to not look Freddie in the eyes. _Great Roger, now Freddie for sure knows something is going on_ John thought. He couldn’t even blame him though, they had been here for some time now and knowing Fred he must be suspecting something.

Freddie both eyed them suspiciously, raising an eyebrow, “what did I just walk in on?”

Roger was quick to answer, “I don’t know what you mean, who says you walked in on anything, we just needed a break,” hesitantly looking Freddie in the eyes.

Freddie didn’t seem convinced, “mhm, sure, if you say so darling," he smirked at them.

“Hey, we don’t all have a dirty mind like you do Fred,” Roger playfully said with a smirk, he seemed to have found his confidence back.

Freddie laughed, “you wish you had a mind like mine, dear,” giving him a pat on the shoulder.

He then didn’t press it further though, and John was glad he didn’t, not knowing what excuse he could come up with.

“Well if you boys are ready with whatever you were doing, we can get back to it. We wouldn’t want to get Brian’s knickers in a twist,” he grinned.

John chuckled, “no, definitely not,” opening the door for both Freddie and Roger, “let’s go then.”

Freddie quickly ran upstairs. Roger followed right behind but not without whispering in John’s ear, “I’m not done with you yet,” he looked at John with a smirk and seemed happy with the reaction he got from him. John felt his face heat up and couldn’t help but smile. _What did he get himself into_?

 

After that first kiss, a second one didn’t follow yet. That wasn’t because both of them didn’t want it to happen, but they never seemed to get the chance. This was mostly because both Freddie and Brian never seemed to leave them alone, and even when they were alone the risk of being discovered by one of their friends was to great. They were in the recording studio a lot and when they finished, it usually was in the middle of the night, and neither of them had any energy left.   

Roger however seemed perfectly happy to test their luck. Touching John’s leg or arm every chance he got, whispering suggestions to him that had nothing to do with the recording process, but made John want to put him against the wall right there and then. Roger seemed to know exactly what would make John go crazy.

This time he was in a particular bold mood, the four of them were trying to fix some stuff in one of the songs. Brian and Fred were bickering about when the guitar solo needed to come in. John never really got involved in the arguments, only when he felt he needed to come between to avoid instruments being thrown at one another. Roger was never afraid to let his opinions be heard, he now didn’t get involved either though, being far more occupied with staring at John.

He pretended to be busy with fixing the bassline in the song but could feel his eyes on him. While trying not to focus to much on what Roger was doing, he completely missed Brian talking to him. “Deaky?... earth to John,” he waved his hand in front of his face.

“Huh?... Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention," out of the corner of his eye he could see Roger grinning, “what were you saying?”

“I asked if you fixed the bass-line and if you were ready to record it,” he asked looking somewhat tired, they had been at it all day and it was almost 11:00 pm.

“Oh, yes I’m ready,” happy to be doing anything but sit across from the object of his distractions. Brian was now talking to Freddie again, still not agreeing about the guitar solo. John rolled his eyes, still not wanting to get involved. He got up from the couch and got his bass, he walked past Roger to get to the recording area. When he passed him, he didn’t look at him but next thing he knew he yelped in surprise making both Freddie and Brian look at him with questioning eyes. Roger had just grabbed his arse and was now trying to not burst out laughing. John felt a blush covering his face.

“Everything all right John?” Freddie asked with smile on his face as if he knew something was going on.

John cleared his throat, “eh… yeah, just tripped is all,” which was a weak lie, but it was all he could come up with.

Freddie gave both of them a suspicious look, but then turned his attention back to Brian who was annoying him with being too perfectionistic for his own good. When he knew they weren’t paying attention John looked at Roger who was still trying not to laugh. John mouthed at him “you're a prick,” which earned him a wink in return. John just shook his head and finally went to recording.

 

Roger couldn’t resist, he had been frustrated all week. If only Fred and Brian hadn’t been there all the time, he could finally be alone with John again. Ever since he had made his feelings known, he couldn’t stop thinking about that moment. He never thought John would return his feelings, let alone kiss him. John was so hard to read, he never really knew what he was thinking. This also made him very interesting to Roger. He was like a complete mystery. Someone he thought he would never be able to get, and don’t we all just want what we can’t have? 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t still nervous as fuck, he never had feelings for a man before. Not like this, he had always been a bit curious. But mostly he was a well-known ladies man. A different woman in his bed pretty much every week, and he wasn’t ashamed of that at all. Well not this week, now he had never wanted anyone more than he wanted John. He didn’t remember when his feelings started to grow, they always had been close but definitely not to this extent. But after he got so pissed two weeks ago and John had helped him to get back to the hotel, he knew why his feelings had started growing even stronger over the past week.

John was the most selfless person he ever met, putting others before himself. Helping him when he was drunk to the point, he couldn’t even get off his own clothes or walk a straight line. He admired his calm nature, the way he thought things through before acting, being polite and nice to everyone around him. The way he concentrated when he was playing, closing his eyes when he was completely taken over by the beat.

The complete opposite of him. Roger was the kind of person that would almost always act first and think of the consequences later, being overly dramatic when he wanted something. He was not shy and was never afraid to let people know what he thought. He was easy in conversation and not to serious, he enjoyed joking around to the point of annoyance.

So, when he had been staring at John for almost the whole day, growing more frustrated by the minute he just couldn’t help himself any longer. So, when John got up, the temptation was to great and he just had to do it. The reaction he got from John was just hilarious, the little noise he made in surprise and the blush that coloured his cheeks. He tried to act like he didn’t do anything because of course his little joke got the attention of the others and he tried to do his best not to laugh. Which was hard because the look on John’s face was priceless. He wished they would be done soon, so he could make him blush even more.

“That sounded great John, much better like this,” Brian said when he came back from the recording area. “Maybe we still need to fix some of the….” he was then cut off by Roger groaning.

“Ugh… Brian please don’t make me slap you! I’m done for today, I need a drink,” he said stretching his body and leaning his head back on the couch, closing his eyes.

Brian rolled his eyes, “I was only making a suggestion,” putting his hands up in defeat.

Freddie seemed to agree with Roger on this, because he had already put on his jacket and was almost out the door, "this time I agree with Roger, and as much as I like you all, I can’t stand to look at you guys another minute,” he said with chuckle waving at them in a way only Freddie could and with that he was out the door.   

“What do you mean _this time_!” Roger called after him.

Brian seemed to realize Fred was already gone, “Shit! Fred, wait! I drove here with you!” Brian called, and quickly took his jacket and ran out the door. “later guys,” he called over his shoulder.

With that they were finally alone, John was standing with his back towards him setting away his bass. Why did he seem so controlled Roger thought, he didn’t seem nervous at all to be alone with him. He on the other hand felt his heart beating fast, he had been waiting for a moment alone with him. Before he could turn around and face him, he wrapped his arms around John's waist and placed a kiss on his neck where it joins his shoulder. At first, he felt John tense up with the sudden movement, but he then relaxed and leaned in to the touch while Roger kept pressing kisses on his neck, eliciting a soft sigh from the younger man that made Roger wonder what other sounds he could get out of him.

“I like the sounds you make Deaky,” he said between kisses. “especially the one you made earlier,” he smiled against his neck. He heard John snort, he turned around in his arms, now looking at him smiling, face a little flushed.  

“I still can’t believe you did that, he said, gazing at Roger's eyes, "you do realise that Freddie is already suspecting something?”

Roger smirked, “I’m not even sorry, it’s your fault for kissing me last week, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

John chuckled, shaking his head, “If I remember correctly, I didn’t hear you complain,” he had put his hands on either side of Roger’s hips pulling him closer.

He grinned, “No, I didn't, but you kept me waiting and I don’t have a lot of self-control as you may know, so I could use a little reminder.”

John smiled, "is that so?"

Roger nodded and leaned in closer and then after a week of tension they kiss again, John's fingers digging into his hips.

Roger nipped on John's lips, pulling his lower lip softly between his teeth, then licking into his mouth, moaning when John softly pulled at the ends of his hair. As the kiss grew deeper, Roger crowded John back to the couch behind him, never breaking apart. He softly pushed John down on the couch while he hovered over him, resting between John's legs. John rested his head against the arm of the couch, biting his bottom lip, awaiting Rogers next move, his hands resting on Roger's hips. Roger leaned down to kiss him again, this time more heated and Roger moans when he feels one of John’s hands find the hem of his shirt and slipping underneath it, his nails digging in his back. When they break apart Roger is pleased to see John’s mouth chasing his own retreating lips.

He proceeded to kiss and make love bites on his neck, making John gasp and squirm beneath him.

“This okay?” Roger softly asked, kissing below his ear.

“Hmm,” John nodded in agreement.

He moved back to his mouth, both moaning against each other. He felt John’s hips roll up against him, making his breath hitch, caused by the friction. He started moving his own hips against his, making John pull away with a soft moan and throwing his head back against the arm of the couch. Roger took the opportunity to look at John, who was softly panting with a blush on his face, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

When Roger went in to kiss him again and moved his hands to the button of John’s jeans, he felt John’s hand on his wrist.

“Wait.” he said sounding out of breath. 

Roger looked at him with curious eyes, “something wrong?”

John pushed himself up in a half sitting position, one of his hands resting on Roger's chest, he smiled at Roger, his lips now slightly red and swollen.  

“No, nothing wrong, far from it." he said while he tangled his other hand in Roger's hair and pulled him in for a short kiss, when he pulled back he smiled, "don’t misunderstand Rog, you have no idea how long I wanted this," Roger saw John was starting to blush, "but I don’t want to do it here.” 

Roger looked around, seeing where John was coming from, “hmm, you have a point.”

“I always do,” he said with a smile.

Roger moved back and sat next to him, “you do know that we have obligations the upcoming week, right? Not a whole lot of time to be alone," he smirked, "how long are you planning on making me wait?"

John smirked, “you really don’t have a lot of patience, now do you?”

“You say that like you are surprised,” he said with a grin.

John stood up and went to get his jacket, Roger didn’t move from where he was sitting. He then felt John’s hot breath near his ear, he closed his eyes when he felt him place an open mouth kiss on his neck. He put his arm up to loosely grip the back of his neck to keep him there longer.

“I’m sure you’ll manage,” John said with a smile on his face pulling away from him and turning around to the door.    

Roger groaned turning his head around, looking at him. “You are quite the tease, you know that?”

John paused at the door and faced him, “afraid you can’t handle it?”

Roger smirked at that, “never.”

John just chuckled, “good night Roger.” Closing the door behind him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems to go great, given a few complications. But all good things come to end, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took me a while to upload, other things got in the way. I hope you all enjoy it! Once again thanks to everyone that left comments and kudos and read my story, it really makes me happy to hear what you all think.

**Chapter Five**

 

 

He let himself fall back on the mattress, Roger hovering over him making his way down his body slowly, kissing and softly biting, making John sigh and make other desperate sounds he didn’t know he was able to produce. Rogers shirt hung open, his face slightly flushed, hair messy. John bit his lip looking at him, still wondering how they got here.

Roger moved back up to hungrily kiss him, tongue licking at his lips, John eagerly granted him permission. They kissed for a while, Roger straddling him while slowing grinding his hips down, making John moan softly. He moved his hands to Rogers shoulders to push his shirt off completely, roaming his hands down his back, digging his nails in, making Roger softly growl into his mouth.

He kissed John’s jawline and moved to his neck, ghosting love bites down his neck and softly grazing his teeth over his collarbone, still rocking his hips against his. Making John close his eyes and shudder, “ah… Rog,” he breathed, he felt Roger smile against his skin. He moved back to softly kiss him while his hands made their way down to his jeans.

John opened his eyes to meet Roger’s blue ones that twinkled with desire. “God, you’re so hot,” he said while proceeding to open John’s jeans.

John looked at him, his face flushed. He had been nervous moving past this point, afraid to scare Roger away, when he realised what would happen if they actually went further than what they had been doing, “Ha… have you ever done this before?” he asked shakily, not being able to keep his usual steady composure.

Roger smirked “no, but I’m a quick learner.” Kissing him again now moving his hands to pull down his zipper and touching him through his boxers, making John gasp and roll his hips up against the touch, his eyes fluttering closed. He felt Rogers hands pulling at the waistband of his boxers and when he was about to move his hand down his boxers there was a knock on the door.

John tensed up and looked at the door and back at Roger, who looked annoyed. “John? You there?” It was Freddie.

Roger cursed under his breath “Fuck! We can’t catch a break,”

John chuckled, putting his index finger against his lips shushing him. Roger looked so frustrated, he hated when things didn’t go his way, and now he couldn’t even throw one of his usual temper tantrums.

Freddie called again, now a bit more impatiently, “John?”

“Yes! I’m coming” John called.

Roger snickered “Oh how I wish you were!” Rolling off John, giving him one last peck on the lips, sitting up against the pillows lighting a cigarette. Chuckling at the blush that covered John’s face by his comment.

John got off the bed and zipped up his pants, frantically trying to find his shirt, finding it on the floor near the bed where Roger had tossed it. He looked at Roger, who still didn’t move from his spot on the bed. He rolled his eyes.

“Rog, you can’t just stay where you are, Fred is at the door, I have to open it eventually” he said urgently.

“Oh, sod off, what do you want me to do? Hide under the bed?” he said while pressing out his cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand.

John couldn’t suppress a laugh, picturing Roger hiding under the bed. “Well, do you want Freddie to find out?”

“You know what I want,” winking at him suggestively.

John chuckled shaking his head, he then heard Freddie call again, “what the hell is taking so long?”

“Y-Yes on my way” John then gestured wildly to Roger to move to the bathroom, while he walked to door to not make Freddie wait any longer. Roger rolled his eyes but did it anyway. When John was ready to open the door, he heard a stumble and a loud swear “Fuck!” he turned around to see Roger wincing.

He looked at him with impatient questioning eyes.

“Stubbed my tow against the fucking bed.” He hissed

“I’ll kiss and make it better later, now get in the bloody bathroom” he said with a laugh.

He smiled “I’ll remember that,” he said slightly limping to the bathroom, not closing the door entirely.

When John was sure Roger was out of sight, he took a deep breath and opened the door to find an annoyed looking Freddie eyeing him. “Took you long enough,” he said.

“I’m sorry Fred, I was just taking a nap, and I couldn’t find my clothes,” which was partially true he thought.

Freddie chuckled, stepping inside the hotel room “well, it isn’t anything I haven’t seen before darling” he looked around the room. Then faced John again, “have you seen Roger? I can’t seem to find him anywhere, and we have that interview in like 20 minutes, and after that we have the show.”  

He completely forgot about the interview for that day. They had one show and several interviews this week to talk about the new album they were working on. They were currently staying at a hotel in Germany.

John hated lying to his friends, but for now he didn’t have a choice. “No, I haven’t seen him,” he swore he could hear Roger softly laughing in the bathroom, he prayed Freddie didn’t hear him as well. “Maybe he’s in Brian’s room?”

Freddie sighed “No, I was just there, and Brian said he last saw him with you at breakfast.” he went to sit at the chair that faced the bed, “don’t you think Roger has been acting weird though lately? Like he is hiding something?”

John picked at the hem of his shirt, trying to not act as nervous as he felt “You think? I didn’t notice?”

Freddie absentmindedly ticked his bottom lip with his index finger, “well, maybe it’s just me.”

John prayed he wouldn’t ask more questions, even though he knew they should be telling their friends something sooner or later. At this point John himself didn’t even know what him and Roger were, let alone what Brian and Freddie would think about the situation. In the back of his mind, he was still afraid that for Roger this was just a phase and that he would go back to having only women in his bed.

Being deep in thought, he didn’t notice Freddie standing up and his eye catching something that lay on the edge of the bed. He walked towards it, “what’s Roger’s shirt doing here?” John snapped out of his thoughts and met a smirking yet curious Freddie looking at him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Roger looking at the whole scene, he seemed amused, yet worried. _Shit, how on earth would he get himself out of this_.

“Oh, well I borrowed it,” he cringed at the horrible excuse, but what else was he supposed to say. _Oh yeah you know he was just here, trying to get in my pants_.

Freddie obviously did not believe him, “I don’t know John, it’s not really your style now is it?” he said laughing.

John couldn’t help but laugh with him, knowing he was right, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “no I guess not. “So that’s a no on wearing it during the interview?”

Freddie chuckled, “I would stick with what you know.”

“So, about the interview?” checking his watch, “isn’t that in like 10 minutes?” Desperate to get Freddie of his back about the shirt. It seemed to work, Freddie looked at his watch as well.

“Yes, I’ll get Brian, maybe he found Roger by now.” He turned towards the door. “See you in a few minutes.” And closed the door behind him.     

John let out a deep breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He knew Freddie didn’t believe him at all and was probably telling Brian all about it by now.

“Is the coast clear?” Roger emerged out of the bathroom with a grin on his face.

John rolled his eyes but still smiled, “that was bloody close, it wouldn’t hurt to tidy up behind yourself, you know,”

Roger laughed “Hey, I was a bit preoccupied.”

John walked towards the bed and grabbed the shirt and handed it to Roger, “well, maybe you should change? We wouldn’t want to raise any more suspicion.”

Roger put on his shirt and buttoned it up, his eyes never leaving John’s face. “Hmm, I don’t know, I kind of want to see Fred’s reaction.” He said with a grin.

John chuckled, that was one of the things he liked so much about Roger. He never seemed afraid or ashamed. Being able to lighten the mood with just a few words, he wished he was able to do that.

John turned around towards the door, “well whatever you say, we should get going or we’ll be late.” He felt Roger catch his wrist and turn him around, without expecting it Roger’s lips were on his, not hungry or rough, just soft and slow. He wrapped his arms around John’s waist, pulling him closer and John felt himself leaning against him, his hands resting on Roger’s shoulders. When they broke apart, he saw Roger softly smiling at him.

“What was that for?” John said with sigh, still a bit dazed.

“You told me you would kiss and make it better, and I said I would remember.” He was still smiling.

John looked at him with a smile “and?”

“All better now.”

 

 

The interview was long and not to mention tedious, John never did really like interviews. He knew it came with the territory and he would still answer questions, but he would rather let the others speak. Roger did change his shirt before the interview, so they didn’t have to deal with Freddie giving them the third-degree. After the interview, they all had dinner together and then did the only show for that week. When they were done with their obligations, Roger and Freddie decided that they needed to let off some steam and really wanted to go out. So, they went to a bar to get some drinks with the rest of the crew.

John had been reluctant to go, he was tired and felt like he could use some sleep. But he eventually gave in when Brian told him he needed to let loose a bit. So, there he was again, in a bar in yet another country, drink in hand, this time while talking to some of the crew members.

The bar they were in was crowded, they been talking about the show and how much fun they had. He was sitting with his back against the bar, so he could look at the crowd and see what was going on in front of him. The music playing was nice, kind of funky, normally he would be dancing but his feet were already aching, so he kept to sipping his drink.

He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he did keep an eye on what Roger was doing. They hadn’t been in this kind of setting for a month now because they were working non-stop. He knew Roger liked parties and all that came with it, the temptations of alcohol and women were much closer now and he wondered what Roger would do, now that he could probably have any women he may have wanted tonight. So, he was indeed a bit worried.  

He and Roger hadn’t talked about whatever the hell they were doing, or what they were at this point. He also didn’t know what Roger expected or wanted. He on the other hand knew exactly what he wanted, he just wanted him. John was never a flirt and didn’t bring another person home every week, being content with the person he had feelings for. Well who he loved really, he thought to himself.

To his surprise however Roger was just drinking and dancing with Freddie and some guys that were hovering around him. There were a few girls around Roger, but he just talked, danced and signed a few autographs. He should have given him more credit. He was still watching Roger when a young man approached him with a shy look on his face. He felt Brian nudge him.

He looked at Brian, “hmm?”

Brian nodded his head in the man’s direction “Looks like someone wants to ask you something.”

John looked at the young man, he seemed to be in his early 20’s. He was tall with dark hair and green eyes. He was good looking for sure, but John only had eyes for a certain blonde. The man looked nervous to talk to them.

“So sorry to bother you, but one of my friends told me you were here! So I couldn’t pass up the opportunity” He said with a smile.

John got off his bar stool to give the man a hand and smiled at him. “It’s no bother.”

 

 

Roger had been dancing with Freddie, he really needed to let loose after working for a month. This resulted in him drinking way too much, but he still knew what he was doing, he wasn’t going to let that happen again. There were a lot of girls surrounding him, but he wasn’t really paying attention to them. When the news spread that the members of Queen were in the bar, it got a lot more crowded all of a sudden.

Normally he would be enjoying all the attention the girls were giving him, eager to take one of them home with him. But now that he knew John was across the bar waiting for him made it so much easier to just talk and give them autographs. He never expected it to be so easy for him, knowing his own reputation all too well.

One of the girls came very close a couple of times, touching him in not so innocent places. He tried to ignore it and continued to talk with Freddie and some other people. Then his eye caught John talking to a young man, he was laughing and had his hand on the man’s arm. The man whispered something in his ear and put his arm around John’s shoulder and Roger felt his heart jump in his chest. Not being able to deal with the sting of jealousy he felt.

When he turned around to face the girl that had been trying to get his attention, he failed to see John shaking off the man’s arm and politely turning him down. Roger now focused on the girl in front of him that had been seductively dancing against him, trying to get the image of John and the man out of his head. He leaned in and whispered in the girl’s ear, despite his mind screaming at him he was making assumptions. He still continued, due to the amount of alcohol he had in his system and probably his pride getting the better of him.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asked the girl.

She giggled and nodded. He took her hand and leading her to the exit. Failing to see Freddie looking at him with disappointment in his eyes. Because he was in such haste to get out of there, he also failed to see the sad look on John’s face who had been able to witness the situation from across the room.

Despite every thought that came up in his head, _maybe he should ask John what that was about, what did the guy want from him, John would never do that, he wasn’t that kind of guy, was he?_ It didn’t matter, he couldn’t stop himself, feeling to sorry for himself and letting it cloud his judgement. He pushed through the door, the girl right behind him onto the streets and into a taxi, letting the driver know his destination.

He looked at the girl next to him, smiling at him with kind eyes. She was pretty, but he knew she wasn’t what he wanted. When the taxi started to move, he turned his head towards the bar one last time and sighed, knowing he just ruined the one real thing he had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, and happy to hear what you think <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was everything just a bad dream? How do they come back from this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, first of all I want to thank everyone that left comments and kudos and even took the time to read my story. It means a lot to me. <3 I never expected to take the story this far, seeing that it had a been a one shot at first. But im happy so many of you seem to love it.
> 
> So here is the next chapter, sorry it took me a while and let you all hanging. I do like to to build up the tension ;p I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think :) it motivates me a lot.

**Chapter Six**

 

 

When Roger woke up the next morning, he had trouble realizing what had happened the night before. He had hoped the whole thing was just a bad dream and that he went back to the hotel and could sneak to John’s room after everyone went to their own rooms. Sadly, this wasn’t the case. He did feel another body next to him, but when he peeked open one eye, the person next to him wasn’t the one he wanted to see. He royally fucked up this time, how could he make this right.  

He quickly looked under the covers, somehow relieved that in fact they weren’t naked, he still had his boxers on. He found himself sighing with relief. _Oh, how much influence a certain bass player had on him, he never thought he’d see the day._ The girl next to him was still in deep slumber, her hand on his chest. He didn’t know what time it was, not being able to look over her to look at the clock without stirring her awake, afraid that every move he made would wake her up. It was the last thing he wanted to do, still wondering how he would get her out of his hotel room without causing a scene.

He softly wiggled himself out of her surprisingly strong grip. She slightly stirred, he softly cursed under his breath, stilling himself for a second before she turned around snuggling the covers. He quickly tried to get dressed, putting on his skinny jeans he was wearing the night before and a fresh shirt. He quickly went to the bathroom, trying to not make any noise. He locked the door behind him for good measure. He stared at himself in the mirror, a tired and sad man looking back at him. His blonde hair even messier than usual.

He groaned and softly thumped his head against the mirror. How would he face John today, he must have seen him leave with this girl? He remembered the guy John was talking to last night, probably somewhere about 24, not a whole lot younger than they were. But it was so obvious that he didn’t just went to have a friendly chat with John. Who could blame him really? He thought.

He had been too caught up in his own jealously to witness what happened after that. He never was the jealous type, but with John things were different, the beast roared his ugly head like he never felt before. He didn’t know why, or at least that was what he told himself. He proceeded to washing his face and brushing his teeth, still trying to find the words he wanted to say to John when he would see him at breakfast.

He would do anything to make him understand how sorry he was, even though nothing happened, he still knew what it could mean. He took a big sigh before unlocking the door and getting back into the hotel room. He had hoped the girl was still asleep, his hope had fallen on deaf ears. She was just waking up and looked him right in the eyes. He must have looked like a deer caught in headlights.

She smiled at him “good morning, I thought you had abandoned me.”

Roger tried to fake a smile, he had considered doing that. “Of course, not ehm…,” he didn’t even know her name. “I was just freshening up. I do have to leave in few minutes though, so...”

She looked disappointed, “I see, I was hoping we could spend some time together,” she crawled towards him to the end of the bed sitting up on her knees “since last night you weren’t really up for it,” she said with a smile, putting her hands on his chest trying to open the top buttons of his shirt.

He took a step back, she looked at him with questioning eyes. “Is something wrong?”

He started rambling, “N-no, don’t get me wrong, you’re very pretty, but I…I shouldn’t have brought you here. I had a lot to drink last night, and I-I’m sort of seeing someone, which I probably fucked up now. But I hope I can still make things better, so _this_ …” he waved his hand between them “can’t happen.” “I’m sorry.”

“I see,” she got of the bed to get her things, she quickly dressed and put on her heels and faced him. “At least you are man enough to tell me, she must be very special, if she can tame Roger Taylor.”

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and smiled at her but not directed to her, thinking about John. _He really was very special._ He couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

He hesitated before speaking softly, not knowing why he was telling her this “it’s a he, and he is… very special.”  

She looked surprised, but softly smiled at him and gave his arm a squeeze. “I’m sure he will forgive you, I mean who could resist you.” She added with a wink.

She then took her bag and walked out the door. Roger took a deep breath and sat down at the end of the bed, rubbing his face. He checked the clock to see it was now 8:50 in the morning, so he knew he had to go to breakfast. The others were probably already down there, since they had to leave in an hour, for more interviews.

He decided he couldn’t put it of any longer and gathered his courage and made his way downstairs towards the dining room.

 

 

Freddie and Brian were sitting next to each other at the breakfast table, softly talking. Freddie looked annoyed and Brian tried to calm him down, which didn’t seem to work very well. He wondered what they were talking about. He scanned the room seeing most of the crew, but the brown hair he was looking for seemed to be missing. Maybe he was still in his room.

He could overhear Freddie and Brian when he approached the table, not noticing him before he spoke. “I’m sure things will sort themselves out Fred.” Brian said in a soft voice.

“I don’t know dear, you should have seen the look in his eyes.” Freddie sighed.

Roger had an awful feeling he knew what they were talking about. He just wanted to turn around, go back to bed and never come out again. He put that feeling aside, now was not the time to be a coward and sat down at the table, not looking both of them in the eyes yet. “Morning.” He could feel their eyes on him.

When he looked both of them in the eyes, he was met with a disappointed looking Freddie staring him straight in the eyes. Brian on the other hand looked downright confused.

“Well look who decided to be early for once.” Freddie said with some annoyance. “I figured you wouldn’t be here for another hour, seeing your nightly activities.”  

Brian didn’t try to calm Freddie down anymore, knowing he better save his breath. He rolled his eyes and knowing what was coming up.

Roger ignored Freddie’s taunts, and looked around him, still hoping he missed John when he walked in the room just now, but still no sight of him. He looked at Brian and Freddie “Where’s Deaky? Is he not up yet?”

Brian looked at Freddie, quietly deciding between the two of them who would bring him the news. Seeing Freddie growing more annoyed with the second he decided it was best that he would.

“He went back to London.” He stated.

Roger didn’t think he heard right, that wasn’t anything like John, to just get up and leave if they still had other obligations. He was always the first to be on time and let others know they were late. He was the calm one, the one they could depend on when things needed to be put in perspective.

He stared at them in disbelief “What? What do you mean he went back to London?”

Brian looked at him with sad eyes. “It’s just like I said, he went back last night after we left the bar.”

His mind was doing overtime, he knew why but asked the question anyway “Why?”  

Freddie couldn’t take it anymore, he looked at him with anger in his face but sadness in his eyes. “I know for a fact that you are much smarter than that darling, I’m sure you know why. John left because of you, because you couldn’t see beyond what you wanted to see last night, jumping to conclusions before he had the time to explain.”

Roger tried to respond, opening his mouth, but closing it again when he saw Freddie wasn’t done.

“You might think that me and Brian are stupid, but we know there has been something going on between you two.” He continued. “you two were acting very strangely ever since last month, sneaking off and staying behind whenever we left.”

“John might be good at covering up his feelings, you on the other hand sure as hell aren’t. You have to agree, subtlety was never your strong suit.”

Roger just didn’t know what to say, he thought they had been very discreet, despite some of the close calls. He still stared at Freddie, trying to respond but he seemed to have lost his voice.

Freddie continued his monologue, “I don’t know what intentions you have with John, maybe this is just a phase to you or maybe you are just curious… maybe you are sincere, I don’t know, but I _swear_ to god Roger Taylor, if you _hurt_ that man, I will personally beat the shit out of you and never forgive you.” Pointing at him to show him he was serious.

Brian didn’t look as angry as Freddie; however, the disappointment in his eyes was apparent. “Rog, I do believe John deserves much more credit then you give him. Because if this is about the guy that tried to hit on him last night… I mean, I didn’t take you as the jealous type.

Roger looked at him with questioning eyes.

Brian continued “because if you had just stayed for a little while longer, you would have seen that John, as nice as he is, let the boy down easy.”

Roger didn’t know what to say, how could he have been so stupid. Of course, John wouldn’t do anything with the flirtations thrown his way, but Roger couldn’t help the jealousy he felt when he saw him so close to that other man. It was easy for him to just jump to conclusions and fall into old patterns.

Roger groaned, he rubbed his face, “Fuck, I’m an idiot.”

“Finally, something we agree on,” Freddie said with a grin. Brian couldn’t help but laugh.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “I deserve that.” Breaking the silence that followed “not that it makes any difference, but I didn’t sleep with that girl last night.”

Freddie shrugged, “well, that’s something at least.”

He looked at Freddie now with more confidence, knowing he was certain about his feelings. “It’s not a phase though, I am serious about John.” hearing himself say this made his heart ache even more, he buried his face in his arms that were resting on the table.

Both Brian and Freddie seemed to appreciate his honesty, because their expressions softened a bit.

“what do I do now?” His voice muffled because his face was still buried in his arms. “I fucked up, I’m sure John doesn’t want to talk to me, he still thinks I slept with that girl.”

Brian rolled his eyes, “well for one, don’t feel sorry for yourself, and like I said you don’t give John enough credit. Try to talk to him, but give him time if he needs it, you owe him that much.”

Roger sat back in his chair and looked at them both. “But we still have interviews, we won’t be back in London until the day after tomorrow. I’m sure he won’t take my calls, and even if he did, apologising over the phone isn’t how I want to do it.”

Freddie sighed, “well not that you deserve our help, but for John’s sake, Brian and I can handle the interviews alone, you go back to London and try and talk to him.”

Roger looked at him in disbelief, “are you serious?” he couldn’t believe he had such amazing friends.

Freddie rolled his eyes and put his hand on Roger’s arm “we are still friends darling, not that I particularly like you right now, but yeah I’m serious. Now get going before I change my mind.”

Roger quickly stood up thinking he would eat in the plane back home. He couldn’t eat now anyway. He turned around looking over his shoulder while walking away. “Thanks guys, I owe you.”

“You do!” Freddie called after him with a smile, Brian smiled while shaking his head.

 

 

John woke up in his own bed that morning, it was now almost 10:30. He felt like he had just fallen asleep. He came home in the middle of the night, the flight from Germany to London a short one. He just wanted to get out of there, he didn’t even know how things got so wrong so fast. Last morning everything was going great, then last night he seemed to be back in the past because the next thing he knew Roger was walking out of the bar with a girl. He had been torturing himself the whole night, hardly being able to sleep, was it something he did?

In the back of his mind he had always been worried, knowing this was all new to Roger, there was bound to be a slip up somewhere and they hadn’t talked about what they were yet. But it was the timing that made John go mad. What happened in the bar that made Roger act that way? It couldn’t be just alcohol. The only thing he could think of was that he had been talking to that young man that had been rather touchy. Maybe Roger had seen that and jumped to conclusions. But that didn’t make sense, Roger wasn’t the jealous type he thought.

At first, he was just angry, but now the emotions he was experiencing were mostly disappointment and sadness. Maybe he had been wrong giving in to his feelings when Roger confessed to him, maybe he never should have kissed him and just went back to silently longing for him and hoping in time his feelings would have gone away. But that wasn’t the case, and he would be lying to himself if he said that he didn’t enjoy the last month. But thinking about it now just hurt.

John looked at the clock, sighing knowing he had to get out of bed and take a shower. He felt horrible about leaving the others back in Germany, but Freddie and Brian seemed to have understand, he didn’t even need to explain. They probably knew a lot more about the situation then he thought. He felt awkward just thinking about it, he thought they had been subtle. He was happy that they didn’t judge him.

What would Roger think once he noticed he was gone, he chuckled to himself, he was probably too busy with the girl to even think about him. He sighed again and got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, to take a shower and trying to let all his thoughts wash away. When he was done, he made his way to the kitchen to make tea and at least try to eat something.

The rest of the day was a blur, he tried to keep himself busy and not think about Roger, not succeeding in any way. He tried to read something, but his mind kept drifting off. He tried to listen to music, but every song reminded him of Roger. He tried to play some music himself, but his inspiration let him down. He tried to write some lyrics, but they all seemed to go about him. After crumbling another piece of paper and throwing it at the trashcan, it landed near it, next to his earlier efforts.

In the end he gave up on keeping himself busy, he decided he needed a drink, not being able to get the drummer out of his head. He sat back on the couch, lighting a cigarette hoping it would calm him down. He looked at the clock, it was now 19.30, he forgot to have dinner. He had to admit to himself that he had hoped that Roger would have called him, to check up on him, he didn’t even know what he would say if he did.

He was just about to walk to the kitchen, to see if there was anything to eat, already knowing that the fridge was almost empty, except for some liquor, eggs and some questionable milk. He hadn’t been home for the last week, he groaned at the thought that he might have to go out to get some groceries. Before he could find out, the doorbell rang, startling him out of his thoughts.  

He looked at the clock, now 19:35, and looked at the door. Who would need him right now, the people that frequently visited him were all in Germany? He walked to the door, a weird feeling in his stomach. When he opened the door, he didn’t expect to see the person standing outside his apartment. He looked at him with a soft smile, his blue eyes looking at him sadly, apologetic and some other emotions that he couldn’t put his finger on. He hesitated before speaking. 

“Hi… can we talk?”     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again everyone! I hope you enjoyed, l love to read your comments <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they make up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the final chapter. I want to thank everyone again who read my story, everyone that left kudos and comments, they made me so happy! <3 I really enjoyed writing this, and sorry the last chapter took me so long, I really hope it's worth the wait. Let me know what you think, and maybe idea's for a next story, since I have no idea's at the moment.

**Chapter Seven**

 

 

“Hi… can we talk?”

He didn’t know what to do or say, he must have looked like an idiot. He didn’t expect to see Roger so soon, hoping he had more time think about what he would say to him when the time was there. The realisation that, that moment was now and that he was here made him awfully aware of the effect he had on him. It made him realize how sad he actually was about the whole situation and didn’t know if he was ready for this particular talk. 

He looked at Roger, who was awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other, not his usual playful and flirty self. “I’m really not in the mood to talk,” he heard himself say, wishing it had come out a lot more convincing.

When he was about to close the door, Roger quickly put his hand on the door keeping John from closing it. “John, wait, please…? he said pleadingly, “let me explain. I’ll stay here in this hallway all night and wait until you’ll talk to me, even if I have to sleep in front of your door.”

John opened the door slightly, seeing Roger watching him with hopeful eyes. John could have closed the door already if he wanted to. He just couldn’t get himself to do it. Maybe he was weak, or maybe he just needed to hear what he had to say for himself. He also wasn’t the sort of person that ran away from his problems. He also knew Roger well enough, that he meant what he said, and he really didn’t feel like explaining to his neighbours. So, he took a step back and opened the door a little further to let Roger step into his apartment.

Roger looked relieved, he took a deep breath before entering the apartment. “Thank you.” John could now take a better look at him. He looked really good, wearing skinny jeans with a button up shirt with the top buttons left open and a striped jacket over it. It made it all the more difficult for John to stop staring at him. When he saw Roger looking at him with that half smile, he averted his gaze and turned around toward the kitchen.

“Do you want a drink?” It was the only thing he could come up with, also stalling the inevitable.

“Normally I wouldn’t say no to that, but first I owe you an explanation about what happened last night.” Roger said nervously while twiddling his fingers.

John turned around to face him, feeling the need to get things of his chest, his voice was steady “you don’t owe me anything. We are not together Roger, I was never naïve enough to think that we would become more then what we were already doing.”

“I won’t say I wasn’t surprised by your actions last night, but we never established what we were, so I won’t stop you if that’s what you want to do.” he shrugged.

John looked at Roger, he was surprised to see he looked hurt by what he had just heard. “What do you mean by that, you didn’t think we wouldn’t become more?” Now looking him directly in the eyes.

“I mean, this is all new to you, you never had feelings for another man before, and last night proved that you don’t know what you want yet, because you left with that girl.” He stated.

Roger seemed to get annoyed, “that’s not the point, my feelings for you didn’t change,” he got closer to John, who was now leaning against the kitchen counter. “and how do you know what I want?”

John rolled his eyes, “can you blame me for being a little sceptical? Last morning you were all over me, if Fred didn’t knock on that door, who knows what would have happened.” Thinking about it, made him feel all kinds of things, nothing helpful right now.

Pushing the thoughts out of his head he continued “and before I know it, you are leaving the club with some groupie, it was obvious what you were thinking about, Rog.”

His words seemed to hit a sore spot, because he looked positively miserable. He raised his voice, “for fucks sake,” throwing his hands up in air “I know I messed up, but you are one to talk about groupies!” he got even closer to John, but still not close enough to be able to touch him.

John furrowed his eyebrows, looking confused. “what are you talking about?”

Roger seemed to have lost his patience, it never being his biggest quality. “Last night, that guy was all over you! And you didn’t seem to mind either!” 

John laughed to himself, now piecing together what Roger was talking about, he looked at Roger who was staring at his hands, refusing to look John in the eye, knowing himself how ridiculous he must have sounded.

“Oh, sod off Rog! Is this, what this is about? You can’t be serious?” he asked shaking his head.  

Roger now looked him in the eyes, still looking awkward “I am, he wasn’t just there to have a chat with you, trust me.”

“So, please correct me if I’m wrong…, because this guy was talking to me, you jumped to conclusions, then decided to grab the first girl you could find, leave with her, possibly shag her, before talking to me? Yes Rog, that’s very mature.” John said sarcastically.

Roger sighed, looking up to the ceiling, rubbing his face “Shit, I know that…. I’m an idiot…”

John smiled “that’s an understatement, because if you had stayed and talked me about it, like normal people do, you would have known I told him I wasn’t interested.”

“Yes, Fred and Brian told me about that,” he said awkwardly.

John sighed and looked at Roger with sad eyes. “But you should be able to talk to me about these things, otherwise this can’t work Roger, I need you to trust me.” He reached out his hand to touch him, but when he realised what he was doing, he quickly pulled it back.

Roger seemed to notice because he looked at him sadly. “I know, I feel so stupid.”

He was quiet for a bit, but then continued “about Fred and Brian though, they are, eh… aware of what has been happening between us.” Roger looked at him with a smile, threading his fingers though his hair. 

John snickered, “I guess we weren’t as subtle as we thought we were.”

Roger grinned, “guess not.”

John couldn’t help but smile at him. This whole situation was laughable and seemed like a misunderstanding. It still didn’t change the fact that he took a groupie back to his hotel room. John didn’t know what to do, his whole being was drawn to the man before him, but he didn’t want to give in again, only to be disappointed once again.

Roger looked at him hopefully, “look, I know I fucked up…, not that it matters, but I didn’t shag her. I was just so jealous, seeing you with the guy, even though in the back of my mind I knew I didn’t need to worry. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

John opened his mouth to respond, but Roger kept talking, “that’s not an excuse…, I know,” he said shaking his head. “The second I got in that taxi I knew I made a mistake. But I’m a coward and I didn’t dare to look at you, afraid of your reaction.”

Roger came closer and hesitantly put his hand on John’s chest. He shuddered at his touch, cursing himself for being so affected by it.

Roger continued “It kills me, to know that whatever we have, or should I say had?... That I threw it all away, hurting you, the only one I really wanted.”

John looked at him, searching his eyes, making sense of what he was saying.

“Because that’s what I do know John, I only want you, and that you thought we would never become more, you don’t even know how much that hurts me,” his voice now shaky. “I guess I can’t blame you with the way I acted.”

“God John… I made a mistake, these feelings are new to me, I don’t know how to deal with them. But I will never forgive myself that I hurt you, you don’t have to forgive me, I just hope that I didn’t ruin our friendship too.” A sad expression on his face.

John didn’t know what to say or do, he opened his mouth, but closed it again. Roger still looking at him with sad eyes. He seemed to take John’s silence as a sign, because he sighed and turned around to the door, to leave. John still didn’t move, processing what Roger had just told him. He didn’t get a lot of time to do so, because Roger paused and seemed to think about something. He then turned around to face him.

He looked at him, all hesitation gone. “You said, that I don’t know what I want?” John tilted his head, wondering what he was getting at. “I just told you what I wanted…, do with it what you will, but are you sure you know what you want?” with that he turned around again and made his way to the door.

John thought on that for a moment, _he knew what he wanted, he had known all along. Was he about to let him walk away, always wondering what might have happened if he stopped him? Could he stand to throw it all away?_

He looked up to see that Roger had opened the door and was about to leave, his back facing him _._ In a few steps he was at the door, he put his hand against the door, slamming it shut. “Wait.”

_He decided that he couldn’t_

Roger turned around and met his eyes, looking at him expectantly, his blue eyes gleaming. Without thinking about it, he pushed him against the door and kissed him, desperate and hungry, nothing like any of the other kisses they shared before. Putting all his emotions and feelings into it. He felt Rogers hands wander from his back to his hips, pulling him into him. Groaning into the kiss, fingers digging in painfully where his hands rested on his hips, opening his mouth when he felt Roger’s tongue licking his bottom lip.

John moved his hands to his shoulders, pushing off Roger's jacket letting it drop to the ground, never breaking the kiss. He moved his lips to Roger's jaw, kissing his way down his neck towards the nape of his neck, softly biting the soft skin. Making Roger’s breath hitch, “fuck, John,” his groan turns into a soft sigh when John moved back up leaving open mouth kisses on his neck until he reached his ear.

He then moved back to kiss him, feeling himself being pushed back against the kitchen counter, pulling Roger against him, his hands now on his waist. He felt him smile against his lips, then slightly pulling away from John, having to catch his breath “this is a nice turn of events,” smiling at John, “I knew you couldn’t stay away” he said with a smirk.

John couldn’t help but laugh, “you’re a prick you know that, don’t make me change my mind.”

Roger grinned, and moved his mouth just below John’s ear, placing a single kiss there, whispering in his ear. “I’ll make it worth your while,” making John shiver involuntarily. He then felt Rogers hands move from his waist down his arse, softly squeezing, he made a surprised sound when he felt himself being hoisted up onto the counter, Roger moving even closer to him sliding between his thighs, he automatically wrapped his legs around his waist.

They kissed again, Rogers hands softly squeezed his thighs, the kiss became more frantic, his hands tugged on Rogers hair, making him groan. Rogers hands moved from his legs, up and under his shirt, roaming his skin. Moving to John’s neck, softly nipping at the skin, making John moan. He then moved back to his mouth, softly kissing and biting on John’s lower lip. He pulled back slightly, to look at John for some sort of confirmation before going in again, feeling Roger’s lips moving breathlessly against his lips “bedroom?”

He pulled back to look at Roger with a grin, whose face was a little flushed, lips slightly swollen. His eyes looked full of desire. He let himself slide off the kitchen counter, making Roger take a step back, but he never let him go. “Is this how you make women sleep with you?”

Roger smiled at that, “hmm, I don’t know, is it working?”

John moved away from his embrace, starting to unbutton Roger’s shirt, his eyes watching John’s movements, biting his lower lip. “I’m not sure, I don’t think I’m convinced yet.” he said teasingly, enjoying the look of pure need Roger gave him.

Roger grinned, his hands rested on John’s hips, pulling him into his, softly grinding against him, earning a gasp from John, “aren’t you cheeky? You should be careful what you wish for.”

John placed a single kiss on his lips, and turned around, pulling Roger with him, “I’m sure I can handle it,” he looked over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out.

“Do you now? Well lead the way,” he said laughing, following him where John was taking him.

 

 

Roger felt himself being pulled towards John’s bedroom. It was safe to say he had never expected this to be in the cards when he paced in front of John’s door before actually ringing the doorbell. For some reason John let him inside and listened to him, acknowledging the fact he was indeed an idiot, and now they were here. He would be a big fat liar if he said he wasn’t nervous, he had never slept with a guy before. He was pretty sure he knew what was to be expected, but actually doing it made him insecure, not wanting to blow it and disappoint John again.

When they entered the bedroom, John turned around to face him looking at him a little nervously. Probably realising there were no more interruptions, "are you sure about this?” he asked him hesitantly.

He looked at John, a blush forming across his cheeks, his hair looking messy and his eyes gleaming. Just looking at him, made Roger aware how much he felt for the other man. Roger closed the small distance between them, grabbing his wrists and moving his hands up his arms and letting one rest at the back of his neck. John bit his lower lip.

He softly kissed him to assure him, and adding when he pulled away, “never been more sure,” he noticed John letting out a small sigh of relief.

“Good,” John smiled, before he pulled him against him, kissing him hard. He heard himself groan into the kiss, feeling John’s hands pushing off his already unbuttoned shirt tossing it somewhere on the ground. Scratching his blunt nails over his back, making Roger gasp, and deepening the kiss.

He pushed John towards the bed, while tugging at his shirt. John pulled away and let Roger pull his shirt over his head, then kissed him again. He felt John’s hand moving to the waistline of his jeans, fumbling with the belt. Roger smiled against his mouth, pulling away slightly, while looking at his hands and back at John, “someone’s eager.”

John smirked, eyes meeting his, “I want to know what all the fuss is about,” opening the zipper of Roger’s jeans and pushing it down his legs.

Roger laughed, kicking his pants out the way and pushing John further back until his legs hit the bed, “oh, don’t worry love, you will,” he said while he pushed him on the bed.

John pushed himself back up on the bed and looked at him expectantly, pressing himself up on his elbows and smiling at him, “so confident.”

Roger moved over to him, his body hovering above him, his arms on either side of his face. He softly pushed John's legs apart with his knee, settling in between them. Roger kissed John again, and John eagerly returned the kiss, opening his mouth to let Roger swipe his tongue against his, his hands roaming down his back towards his hips, pulling them into his.

Roger rocked his hips down slowly, making John gasp and break the kiss to throw his head back slightly against the pillow. Giving Roger the opportunity to move his lips to his throat, leaving open mouth kisses down to his collarbone, softly grazing the skin with his teeth, enjoying the sounds John was making.

He moved slowly down his body, from his collarbone to his sternum and down to his stomach, kissing and softly biting at the soft skin, testing out which area’s where the most sensitive and elicited the biggest moans. When he reached the waistline of his jeans, he looked up to find out John was staring at him, with desire in his eyes and biting his bottom lip, his chest rising and falling.

He looked so good, his face flushed, hair messy, eyes dark, waiting for Rogers next move. They never got further then this point, always being interrupted. Not this time though he thought, he wouldn’t let anybody get in the way this time.

He moved back up to kiss him again, while moving his hands up and down his sides. He felt John shiver against his touch. He then moved his hand towards his jeans, breaking apart and looking at him.

“Still okay?” Roger asked, unable to keep his voice steady.

“Yes,” John pushed himself up to meet him, gripping the back of his neck with one hand and hungrily kiss him, “now get on with it.”

Roger smirked, “so, impatient,” moving his hands to drag the zipper down and tug on his jeans, John lifted his hips to help him get them off, and his boxers with it. He looked John in the eyes and without a second thought he wrapped his hand around John’s already hard cock, making him gasp and his eyes fluttered before he closed them.

Roger moved his mouth to kiss him again, John moaning against his mouth, one hand tugging on Roger’s hair tightly, the other holding on to his arm, while he keeps moving his hand, the angle slightly different than what he was used to. “Ah… fuck,” John breathed, breaking the kiss, eyes still closed while turning his head to the side, giving Roger the opportunity to kiss and nip on his neck and nibble on his ear.

“Fuck, you look so good,” he whispered, he quickened the pace of his hand and felt John roll his hips up against the touch.

“R-Roger… he moaned, moving his hands to his boxers and pressing his hand against Roger’s still clothed erection pulling him into a short and sloppy kiss, “I want you...”

Roger groaned and bucked his hips against the touch. He had been so focussed on making John feel good, that he almost forgot about his own pleasure. But John’s comment made him very much aware of how hard he was.

He looked at him “you mean?” his voice sounding a bit higher than usual and not as confident as he had hoped.

John hooked his fingers on the waistband of his boxers, moving his lips below his ear, his mouth hot on his skin, “unless you have other plans?” he smiled against his neck.

Roger smiled, “definitely not.”

John started pushing off his boxers, Roger reached behind himself to take them off completely, now feeling a bit unsure about what to do, as he was still settled between John’s legs. John seemed to pick up on his mood, because he captured his face with his hands and kissed him. He then nudged his head to his nightstand. “lube,” he simply stated.

Roger reached over to the nightstand, while John’s fingers lazily traced circles on his shoulders, making him shiver. He opened the top drawer to find what he was looking for.

When he settled back over John, he shifted his weight and grinded his hips against John in a teasingly slow way, that had both of them groan with pleasure. John bit his lip with anticipation when Roger put some of the lube on his hands and warmed it up between his fingers, “let me know if it doesn’t feel right,” he said still feeling a bit nervous, because he knew the logistics but wasn't sure he knew what he was doing. 

“I trust you,” John said with a soft smile.

This gave Roger some more confidence, while he proceeded to slip one finger in hearing John’s breath hitch, stopping his movements, letting him adjust before adding a second when he seemed used to the feeling. His breathing was now coming in short pants, while Rogers moved his fingers. When he felt John moving against his fingers and biting his lip, he added a third one. A thin layer of sweat started to coat John’s skin. Just when Roger started to worry if he was doing something wrong, John lets out a loud moan, startling him out of his train of thoughts.

“ah…yes, right there, do that again,” John moaned, watching him through fluttering eyelashes.

Roger complied and bit his lip, getting more turned on seeing John like this, wanting to hear the lovely sound again, feeling confident now, he hit the same spot again with more firmness this time. Making John arch his back and loudly moan his name. His hands gripping the sheets. Still moving against his fingers.

“Roger… please,” John gasps, “I need you,” he looked at Roger, pulling him close to exchange sloppy kisses, Johns lips were a little swollen from him biting at them.

Roger didn’t need to be told twice and removed his fingers, quickly wiping them on his thigh. Johns whimpered at the loss. He positioned himself between John’s legs again, softly kissing him. He put his hands on John’s waist, John’s hands resting at his arms.

“Ready?” he asked between kisses.

John just nodded, eyes never leaving his.

Then with one clean slow stroke he entered John, feeling John tense up slightly, hands holding on tightly, Roger himself almost overwhelmed with the feeling, stopped his movements. “you okay?” nuzzling his neck. After a few seconds he felt John squirm underneath him.

“uh-huh, move,” he gasped. Roger eagerly complied moving back slightly and thrusting back in a bit harder this time, Johns let out a sharp moan and dug his nails in his shoulders and scratched them over his back. He seemed to adjust quickly because he started moving his hips in time with Roger, meeting his thrusts. The slow rhythm has them both panting.

“Does it feel good?” he panted, squeezing John’s hips, pulling him into him.

John moaned, “ah…y-yes, he said biting his lip, "more."

Roger moved back to capture John’s mouth to give him an open mouth kiss, John’s eyes were still closed, his face flushed.

“You feel so good,” Roger breathed, quickening his pace, making John gasp with pleasure, making little ah sounds when Roger hit that one spot over and over, one hand tugging at Roger's hair.

Roger felt himself lose control, he could feel Johns body tremble beneath him, still matching his thrusts every time. Roger let his head fall to John's shoulder with a groan, teeth grazing his collarbone. Johns hands grasped his arms when Roger’s thrusts became harder and hips moving at a relentless pace. His nails digging in painfully.

“Ah…yes, yes, please,” John moaned, throwing his head back. Moving his hands to Roger’s hips in an attempt to pull him even closer.  

“Fuck, John,” Roger breathed against his skin. He knew he couldn’t hold out much longer, feeling his orgasm building up, his hips not being able to keep up the delicious rhythm they created. John seemed to notice, feeling Roger’s body begin to shake.

He kissed him below his ear and whispered, “let go love,” that send him over the edge, coming with a shudder and a low groan, John’s name spilling over his lips. 

John followed soon after, arching his back of the bed with moaning softly, his eyes fluttering closed, while Roger hips started to slow, both riding out their orgasms. He kissed John gently and when his hips stilled, he carefully slipped out of him and collapsed on top of him, both their bodies shaking and sweating.

Their breathing started to slow down and become normal again, Roger smiled when John kissed his temple and his hands lazily traced random shapes on his back.

“You okay?” he asked, still a bit out of breath.

He lifted himself up on his elbows, looking at John, meeting his greenish grey eyes that he loved so much, planting a soft kiss to his lips.

“Never better,” he sighed, kissing his jaw, moving to his neck and leaving kisses all over his chest, making John giggle, “god, that was good.”

John couldn’t help but smile. Threading his fingers through Roger’s hair. 

He rolled off John, stretching his body enjoying the ache. Looking at John who was getting up. “where you going?” he asked with a questioning look.

John smiled “just getting something to clean up a bit, be right back.”

When he came back from the bathroom, he cleaned them both up and laid back down next to Roger. Who wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his chest, kissing the back of his neck, pulling the covers over them. He felt John sigh and lean into his chest.

“So, did I meet your expectations?” he said tracing his fingers over John’s arm.

John laughed softly, “hmm I don’t know, I’ll let you know the next time.”

Roger nuzzled his neck, “next time? I like the sound of that.”

“I bet you do,” he said sleepily.

Not long after that, John drifted off to sleep. He listened to his quiet breathing, pulling him even closer, inhaling his scent, enjoying the feel of his warmth against him, smiling while thinking how lucky he was to be there with him. With those thoughts he felt himself drift off as well completely exhausted with all that happened.  

 

 

John woke up from the soft lighting that came through the curtains. He thought he had been dreaming, but when he felt the warmth from the body next to him, he smiled knowing everything had been real. He looked next to him. Roger had shifted in his sleep and now lay on his stomach, with his face turned towards John, one hand resting on his pillow. The covers were now moved down at his hips, showing his back.

He turned to lay on his side to look at Roger. He stretched, feeling his body aching in all the right ways. He bit his lip, the memories from last night rushing back to him. Roger was still in deep slumber, his face, relaxed, breathing quiet. His fingers itched to touch him but he didn’t want to wake him, in the end he couldn’t help himself, moving a bit closer and leaning on his elbow to lightly trace his fingers from his shoulders down his spine.

He smiled when he saw Roger shiver under his touch. Feeling confident, he pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck, feeling Roger slightly stir now, he continued to kiss the same trail he had just traced with his fingers, all the way down his spine. He knew he was properly awake now, because he heard him gasp softly.  

“I don’t mind waking up like this every day.”

John smiled against his skin and moved his lips back up to his shoulder to lay back down, meeting Roger’s blue still somewhat sleepy eyes, smiling at him.

He felt himself being pulled into a kiss, “good morning love.” Roger said while he pulled back.

“good morning.”

Roger wrapped his arm around John’s waist, pulling him close to kiss his neck. John sighed, and melted against the touch, he had been waiting for when he woke up.

“You know?” Roger said against his neck between kisses. “I’m ready for round two, if you are.” and pulled away to look at him with a smirk, before quickly rolling on his back, pulling John with him, so that he was straddling his hips.

John snickered and leaned down to hungrily kiss him, feeling Roger softly gasp against his mouth when he shifted his weight and pulled back to look at him, his fingers tracing circles on his chest.

He smiled at him shaking his head “you’re going to be the end of me, Roger Taylor.”

Roger quickly switched their positions, pinning John down, his eyes on him.

“You know you love me,” he said with a smile.

John looked up at him, his eyes shining bright. The eyes he had come to love, what felt like so many months ago, he couldn’t think of a world without him in it.

“I do,” he said in very quiet voice, but loud enough for roger to hear.

Roger smiled, and turned his ear towards John a little teasingly “what was that, I don’t think I heard you?”

John felt his face heat up but smiled anyway, giving his arm a little tap. “I love you.”

Roger smiled, his hand had moved to the nape of his neck, softly rubbing the skin with his thumb while he leaned in for another kiss, pulling John impossibly close. John’s hands rested against his chest.

When they parted, he looked at him with a soft expression. John brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. Roger turned his head to kiss his palm while saying “I love you too, so much.”

John smiled and looked in his eyes again, forever lost in those beautiful seas of blue.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3, I hope you guys liked it, I don't write a lot of smut, so I hope it was good. Thanks for sticking with me during this story, it means a lot to me.


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